Back to work today

So, yes, back to work today. Bummer. I am going in an hour early to get a tour of the new expansion, so that is kinda cool I guess. We are gonna get to tour a presidential suite (rumor that it cost 3500$ per night!), the new bowling alley and the convention center, where I will get to see where my seats are for Tim McGraw and the end of next month!!! Wuuu whooo! This weekend should be fun, but oh oh oh does it sound like its gonna be a hot and humid one, gross. I hate humidity! So. . .not good for the hair! The pool should be a nice cool down on sat. then! We went to the pool this past monday as well. Hunter got away from me for a couple minutes while I was talking to some friends. I swear she had been playing in the water next to me just a minute earlier. My friend Maggie spotted her with some people I knew not to far away.
I walked, okay, jogged maybe up to her and ya wanna know what this little lady, not even 2, said??
"I run away mom, I funny!"
"I funny!"
"I run away, ha ha ha"

Ummmmmmmm, hmmmmmmm, you are SO NOT FUNNY little girl!!!!!!
My heart was pounding, and thank god we saw her not too long after she was gone.
But seriously, I have a feeling she is gonna give me a run, for the rest of my life.

Oh Hunter dear, I love you so. Please please please, don't scare me like that again!

Wednesday

I have decided this week, to NOT give into this shopping urge that has me almost bursting at the seems! I will stay at home today and be more productive. The list has been started

-clean and vacuum Jeep
-clean entire house
-wash all bedding
-sand and stain frames
-organize Hunters toys
-make a Target run
-develop pics at Walmart
-dishes and laundry
-mow lawn
-walk to farmers market

That should take up a full day huh? I still am waiting for the rest of my money from the ins. company after completing my roof, and still owe my roofer $, so until that gets done for sure and maybe a bit paid off on my credit card, and then I will give into the urge. I am thinking Sept. Lots of cute fall clothes should be out by then!

My sis and bro and I are getting quilt made for mom for her b-day (although it will be late). It will have pics of us kids on it over the years, and a few of Hunter as well. So, last sat. I went to dads house to look through his pics from 2002 til now that he keeps on his computer. And these are some of what I found!

We were at my grandparents wedding anniversary party (I think). Funny how we were joking abt. my top being a maternity top and that 5 months later I was pregnant with Hunter!

This was shortly after Trap and I broke up the first time when I found out he was pursuing someone else! Great huh? Don't ask me why I remember that, maybe cuz Linds drove down from Winona just to hang out and keep me company since I was feeling shitty.

Hawiian family reunion

I think this was at a wedding reception, and I was working but it was also my brothers b-day and my mom was feeling no pain, if you know what I mean. And thats pretty rare for her!!

We were shooting darts at Andy's. If you look closely, I have a black eye! Was at a T.I. x-mas party, running in high heels outside, a bit over served, and fell, smack on my face!

Back in 2005, we went bar hoppin over in Wisc. the night before we left on out family cruise! So much fun!!

At my cousins coming home party from Iraq (I think)

Hunters baptism, the godparents

Smack!!!!

And this was just some random night out!!

It was pretty cool so see all the pics over the years, and I believe that I might have inherited my fathers camera stuck to the side of his hip gene. But thats okay.
More later, lots to do today!!

P.S.

So I thought that I had this brilliant plan. We were at the pool earlier, Hunter didn't get her nap. So instead of coming home and taking a nap, we went shopping and was thinking that she would just go to bed sooner, like 7ish. Well, I put in a movie and finished the dishes etc. She must have fell asleep abt. 5:30. And I don't want to wake her up, I don't think, so maybe this whole thing backfired on me and I will have a toddler up and adam abt. 4 or so this morning?!?! I'll let you know.
It still amazes me that so far, I repeat so far when she wakes before me, she just sits in her bed, talking and playing with her stuffed animals until I get up. Is that crazy? I told her more than once that she can come and wake me up, but she hasn't so far. Maybe I should just enjoy this phase and be thankful that I am not waking up to crayon colored wall and milk or juice spilled all over the kitchen floor! Ya!?
P.S.S. I have caught the shopping bug, oh yeah, for a couple weeks now! I need to shake this thing!

Boring weekend.

So, yeah, I worked all weekend. T.I. had their drawing and gave away 3 Corvettes. I didn't do anything worth blogging abt. That sucks.
Alas, today is Monday, and nearly done. But we went to the pool and ran into and old friend and her kids, and parents of guy I graduated with, with their grandchildren. So, I got some sun, and it was a beautiful day! All summer long I have been going to the pool mostly on Tues. Wrong. Bad idea. Not good. Tuesdays are 2 for 1 and every child daycare and kids program get the buses out and come down to Colvill. It gets so busy with kids everywhere and I think Hunter feels a bit overwhelmed around soooo many people! So, today, as in Monday, was great! I'm going to file that away.
A couple times a year, Betty Crocker crawls up inside me from where I have no idea, but today I have already made, dads sloppy joes, cuc and chix and bacon pizza thingy, ham and pinneapple salad, and Judy's chix salad to put in croissants. Now you probably won't catch me cooking for months. j/k. But seriously, thats al ot for only me and wee one! Yah??
River City daze this weekend and that means I have sat. night OFF!! Wuuu whooo!!! Puts the kids to bed and grab me a coctail! Not that this weekend means as much as it used to when we were younger, but I just really, really enjoy listening to live bands! Mostly if they are good! And you usually won't see me drinking beer, but exceptions are made down at the beer tent. So, we'll see, it should be a good time.
Kinda depressing to think that summer is over, half way over. Although I do love love love fall, it so reminds me of when Hunter was born and I was on maternity leave.
OH, and I heard that the cute EMT at work is married with like 8 kids. Who knows.

When all is said and done. . . .

Hunter: Mom, I'm all done now.

Me: All done what?

Hunter: All done cryin'

Me: Okay

Hunter: Mom, I'm sorry, I still love you!

Me: I still love you too baby!

This is after a huge tantrum when you might have truly thought that someone was RIPPING her toenails off. One. by. One.


A day in the life of Hunter Gene.

My daughter isn't an angel after all.

So, I just came home from Tar.get and running some errands. I am SO not happy with little Miss Hunter right now. And this is probably my fault. As of late, I have been letting H ride in the back of the cart when we go shopping. As long as she sits down. I find myself telling her multiple times throughout our shopping to sit down. Once before, and now today, after many threats of "if you do not sit down, you are moving to the front and going to be buckled in", I followed through. She got moved to the front, and she most surely excercized her vocal cords throughout the store. Yes, I was a bit embarrased, but I did what I did mostly definitely for her safetly which she clearly cannot recognize at the fine age of "almost" 2. I would have loved to just walked away from her until she settled down. Not quite appropriate to do while shopping however! Ya? So, she must have pooped herself out cuz on the ride home she maybe said 5 words. Arghhhhhhh! Grumble, grumble.
And I would do it all over again if I had to.
So, I think from now on to avoid this whole shibang, she will no longer be sitting in the back.

Funday Monday!!!!

I am watching Miss E today. Hunter has been thrilled with someone to pal around with today! They are currently napping! Yay! Quiet time. Kris just brought me over some books to read so I am gonna pick one out and get started! The house is a mess, but that can wait til later, oh and maybe we will jump in the pool after naptime!! Here are a couple pics from the day!!




Here are the pics of the 2 outfits I got for Hunter's 2yr. old pictures. Sorry one is not the right way up. Who'd a thunk that 2 outfits could cost over $120! I know, its nuts. But considering that 98% of Hunters wardrobe is garage sale seconds, I was justifying the buy.

Sooo much better today.

Wow. What a difference. I feel so much better today. As far as the anxiety crap goes. My nose is getting stuffy though. Yesterday I decided to look at the box of Allegra and read the little paper insert inside, yeah, it contains pseudoephedrine. That would be my problem. Gonna have to find a different allergy med.
Wento to Reggae Fest last night. The band was over by the time I got there and sooo many people had been drinking since 1pm yesterday afternoon. So, probably could of just gone home and went to bed.
K- in answer to your question abt. anxiety. I believe that having an anxiety disorder is not just abt. something that you are thinking but more abt. when you think things, how your body reacts at that time. We all gave general "worries", but anxiety is more complicated so to say. Believe me, you would know if you have ever had a panic attack. Its so difficult to put into words, but it is a feeling that you will never forget, don't want to ever experience again, and is plain scary.
Now, to totally change the subject. After I had Hunter and things didn't work out with her dad, I had often made the comment to many people, on many different occasions that I would love to have a sperm donor, and who needs the man right? I can do this whole child raising thing myself, and it would just be a whole lot easier. Well . . . . .I have been offered, so to say, some little spermies. Pause. . . . . . . . wait. . . . . . . think. . . . . .I don't know!? If I were to do this, would having another baby affect any future relationship? Would going through invitro be worth it ($ wise) at age 30 when I could easily get pregnant the old fashioned way? And a lot cheaper? What connection would I have with the father, if any, and how involved or not would he want to be? Yeah, no quick decisions on this one.

So, I am sorta feeling bad that in my previous post I didn't mention much abt. Hunter since the idea behind this blog is keep updated on mine AND her lives. She is with Grandma Cindy this weekend. They take her one weekend a month. Gives Trapper and I a break. Grandpa Hayes picked her up this morning to go to a b-day party for one of the other grand kids (Kim's). And then back to Grandma C's. Mom said after quiet time last night, Hunter talked for an hour straight. Abt. this and abt. that. It still amazes me that she is under the age of 2 and we can have whole conversations with her and have been doing so for a couple months now. She repeats herself many times until she knows that you understand what she is saying. I can get abt. 95% of what she says. A few words, I have not a clue. And she gets so frustrated with me! She tries soooo hard to spit her words out right, and you can tell just by looking at her when she is thinking of the right words to say.
I am currently eating Hager Heights. Yum. Chicken sandwhich. Yum.
On another note, I saw a cute new guy working at the island last night. He is one of the EMT's. Dark skin, dark features. Looks abt. the right age . . . .I think we could make some cute babies!! Ha! But yeah, anyway, I don't know his name or where he is from or really anything. Yet. He did come and talk to me last night for a minute just asking a question abt. the lights on the machines. I totally should have put out my hand and introduced myself. And checked out his ring finger! Or just looked at his name badge anyway. Maybe tonight.
Reggae Fest is happening at the Harbor tonight. Not a big fan of that bar anymore, I think over the years I have just spent too many nights dancing away til the wee hours of the morning. Don't get me wrong, it can be a blast with the right people, when you haven't been there in awhile! So we will see. Hunter will be with grandma, and I know a bunch of people going, so I will pack a bag of clothes for after work, and who knows?! Live bands. . . .uuuuuh yeah!
Speaking of live bands, anyone ever heard of Westside??? They are soooo good! They play at the casino everyother weekend in the Parlay Lounge. If you are looking for a good live band and need a night away, I would HIGHLY recommend coming to see them!!! I hope that I am in a room tonight close by so I can listen. The guests always spot me dancing and singing while I'm working! Ha!

Anxiety

Just to fill you in. . . back in 99/00 I was diagnosed after going to Mayo in Roch and a series of tests, (I seriously thought that I had a brain tumor and was going to die!) that I have Panic Disorder. They put me on Paxil. I took it for 2 weeks and decided that I didn't want to live on medication for the rest of my life. Told myself that this was all in my head. I went to a therapist a couple times that gave me some technics on how to calm myself down in the middle of an attack, got out of a stressful relationship and things seemed to look up. Since then, the attacks have been far and few between, we are talking a couple every 6 months or so. No biggie.
Until the past couple weeks. . . they are back. And I am "almost" ready to freak out. I had them for 8 hrs. straight last night at work. I really thought I was gonna lose it on the way home! If you have no idea what these attacks are, it is really hard to explain. . . but you get super hot, start to hyperventilate, feel like the world is closing in on you, kinda like you can hear things and feel things but aren't in your own body. As well as the brain is thinking abt a million things all at once and you just can't shut it off. Sometimes if I feel a weird small pain somewhere in my body, it triggers an attack. I totally think that there is something wrong with me and I am gonna die. Which is totally worse now that I have Hunter because I fear very much abt. dying while she is little and not being able to see her grow up. This seriously scares me. And sometime these stupid bad thoughts go through my head abt. accidents that "could" happen and what I would do or how sad I would be.
There are couple of reasons that I think might be bringing these attacks back into my life. #1: I have had a cough for 5 months. I have been to the doc. several times and we are trying to pinpoint the cause, they say the chest xray is clear. This freaks me out. I am too young to have a cough like this. They say it could be linked to allergies. So, For the past couple months I have been taking 12hr. Allegra once a day as I feel I needed. The doc. wants me to take it twice a day for three weeks to see if the cough subsides. Now, I have NO idea if allergy medication is linked to anxiety, but these attacks have become WAY worse since I have been taking them twice a day. Now mind you, I really don't like taking drugs, and the thought of having to take meds everyday instead of on an as needed basis bothers me. So WTF? I have no idea. I am not gonna take those pills today and just see if my night at work is better.
I also think I need to see the doc. again and see what link if any there is to these meds. Maybe too, there is an anxiety med. that you don't have to take everyday, only during an attack to chill me out that I could get?? Anybody know anything or do I really sound frickin loco??
Outty.

Oh, by the way. . . I was chewing gum today, and I piece of my tooth (big one way in the back) came out. Soo not cool. Good thing my dentist appt. just happens to be tomorrow at noon.

The day "after" She-Woman

We arrived home around 10ish or so, did a couple loads of laundry, and yes, oh yes, took shower! That felt so good! Nothing like taking a shower after camping for a couple night, with dirt and scum all over your body! It was like heaven. Linds, Hunter and I met Kris and Ellie at the pool around noon. Mom and dad and Katie showed up later as well. I got fried. I will survive. I so enjoyed just being able to sit there. Mom and Linds kept Hunter entertained for the most part. I usually bring Hunter by myself and chase her all around for the few hours we are there while she tries on many pairs of shoes and admires everyone elses towels. So, thank you for letting me just be. I was tired.




We left the pool around 3, Hunter napped. My brother brought a house on Friday, so we went to check that out before heading to the local bbq for Kris' b-day. Shawns house need A LOT of work, but I am confident that it will get done and he made a good investment. As always, watching the girls play is soo cute. And of course what would a b-day party be without the cake. Ellie and Hunter enjoyed theirs!!



ONe more year, and baby Nora will be joining these two wild cats!

She-Woman 2008

Well, the weekend has come and gone. We look forward to it every year, put lots of time into planning and setting up, and all you do is blink . . .and its over. The weekend started out Friday, meeting at Mr. Bilz bar at 11am. I believe we stayed til 2pm ish and headed out to 240th Street to start setting up camp. It was hot, and humid. After setting up 3 tents, and sweating profusly, we had to take a dip in the pool. Lots of munching, listening to music, playing euchre, some wierd nail and hammer game in a log (I just video taped this one) and then a bit later. . . after more people slowly started arriving at the farm, the winds picked up. It was raining and we ended up in the cellar of the house for a wee bit. Get a bunch of gals liquored up, and we aren't too scared. Two of Kims brother in laws stayed in the house the entire weekend farming and staying out of our way. But it was nice to have them around in case something would have happened. After finally getting the zipper to my tent open (I had issues with this ALL weekend!), we crashed. We awoke early Sat. morning. I really can't remember what time it was, but I knew I felt like shit. Drank a lot of fluids and ate some breakfast. The euchre tourney started around 11:30 am. I had to have a coctail. . . hoping that it would make me feel better. After an hour or two, it did. Abt. 1:30ish, we all started getting ready for the hayride. It left around 2:30 and we headed to Goodhue to visit Dar's bar for some singing and line dancing! This is the 14th year this She-Woman thing has been going on, and since the 10th year, we have had shirts made. I don't have a close up of the design on it, but will do so at a later time. A local bar pal originally drew this design for us, and we have a friend that runs a t-shirt, sweatshirt shop. Anywho, back to the story. . . the hayride was a success!! As always! We gathered a few more people along the way, and lost a couple as well! We did visit the tavern in good ole Bellchester too! Greg and Kris, I wish we would have driven by (maybe next year!) We usually return to camp around dusk, eat some food, sit by the campfire, and most of all. . . passing out is what is pretty normal after the hayride. We do it, and we do it well. I was in bed around 10ish, and I believe it was 11:30 when the last person hit the hay! The next morning, we started getting up around 6am! That is so early for me, but I just couldn't sleep anymore! Oh, I forgot to mention, that the last few people up Sat. night snuck into tents and campers trying to put tatoos on the faces of the people already passed out! Gwen (the person whos house we were camping at) had one smack dab on her forehead! Kim tried getting me, but I woke up swinging. I do NOT remember this, but my only guess would be that since becoming a mother, I never sleep well and wake many times during the night. The tatoos did look cool though! So, yes, Sunday morning has arrived. Realized that we forgot to grill the burgers and brats after we returned from the hayride, so that was breakfast. Not to bad, everyone looking and feeling like shit. The tents were disassembled, garbage was picked up and the cars loaded. Awards were given out for various things done over the weekend, the newcomers recieved their certificates for becoming She-Women. I was in a 4 way tie for 2nd place in Euchre and tied for most loaners as well. Oh, got the Cinderella award too, and my lost shoe was returned. The voting took place for next years theme.
80's won. Some of the other choices were disco, spring break, and prehistoric, along with some others that I just can't remember right now. So, yep, that abt. sums it up. Here are some pictures in no particular order.

Sitting on the house porch watching the storm Friday night.

Lindsay, Amber and I

All this years newcomers lined up at Dar's

At the bar in Bellchester

Party in Kims camper after the storms, Gwen in pink fu-fu hat

Right as we pulled into Goodhue

Linds and I

Kim and Gwen during the euchre tourney

The brave souls that met at Mr. Bilz early Friday morning

Pool time after setting up tents


I have been attending now for these various themes: Hawaiian, Survivor, Murder Mystery, 50's, cartoon characters, Fear Factor, Vegas, and now Ho-down!!! At the Survivor event (I think) we were all given lamenated necklaces that said this

She is Woman

I promise to take time for myself,
To allow myself to find
The person I was before becoming a
Wife and a Mother
Or learn about the woman I want to be.

I promise to look after
All Women in need of finding themselves
As well as having respect
For other She Women looking for Peace within.

I am Woman
Hear me Roar!


How cool is that?!
All in all we had a fabulous weekend. The oldest gal attending was 69! Linds arrived in town Thurs. night, and I can't believe that she is gone already. Hunter and I brought her back up to the airport this morning. Time flies. But she will be back in abt. 6 weeks with Nate to visit. I know Hunter enjoyed seeing her aunt NeNe again! When I woke her up from her nap today, she asked me "Where did aunt NeNe go?" It was cute.

So, until next year. . . . . .

One cat gone.

So, yes, my darling Cheetah is gone. I love her coloring and she was such a snuggler, of course only when in the mood. Cleaned the litter box, and left for work with only one cat in the house. He hasn't gone in it all day! WTF? Maybe it is him with the issues?? I cleaned some more spots on the carpet remnant downstairs, and talked to Trapper. He is gonna take that out of the house for me. Just a feeling that with it in the house, there will still be the smell. And in a couple more days, I should know who it is for sure. Wish me luck that I kept the right cat! This whole thing really does make me sad.

Tippy Toes

This is how my baby walks, almost all day long!

When I was little, maybe 3 or so, I would stand in one spot and twirl around and around. Til the smucked my head on the corner of the old big t.v that was on the ground, went to the hospital, got stitches. The only time in my life that I had ever had stitches until Hunter was born. Now I watch my baby "twirl" all the time. And I get sooooo nervous every time!